The Russes gave to me…
A truly random search.
On our way to visit my family in Florida this summer the friendly TSA worker told us that Emily, Lila, Abby, and Zack had been randomly flagged by the computer for a more thorough screening. My ticket was purchased separately because I used a voucher, so it didn’t get flagged with theirs. We can now confirm that these searches truly are random. I hadn’t shaved in a month in preparation for the annual Russtache party. They searched a 7 month old pregnant woman, her 4 year old daughter, and 2 year old twins, whilst her 230 lbs bearded husband walked through untouched.
Our cameras were caught up in the search and they had my cell phone in the x-ray machine for the good parts. Yes, they sent them all through puffer machine, ran the metal detector wand over everybody, and they patted down everyone (I just missed Zack standing there with his legs spread and arms out as he was patted down), including a check to make sure Emily’s stomach was real. I should note their tickets were flagged for the return trip as well, so they did it all again.