Three years and 8 days ago Lila opened up her piggy bank and used all that cash to buy a fish.
She named him “I Don’t Know” and we have laughed about his name mix ups ever since.
Tonight I Don’t Know passed away. I am actually surprised by how sad I feel.
When we got him. Lila was 3 and Abby and Zack were 15 months old.
(Now Abby & Zack are 3, Lila is 6, and Alex is almost 18 months old. And I can't even find a recent picture with all 4 of them in it...)
We knew I Don’t Know’s time was coming to a close so no one was really surprised when I told them that he had died. Here’s a few of the things the kids said:
Lila: (after examining him) He’s dead. He’s perfectly dead.
Zack: He’ll come alive again & then he won’t die again!
Lila: He’s like part of my family.
Zack: You silly, he IS!!
Lila: I kind of feel bad for him. He’s had a hard time!
Zack: I think his spirit is gone to heaven.
Lila: I tapped the glass and he wasn’t scared, so I think he’s dead!
Emily: Abby (who hasn’t said anything up until this point) do you think anything about I Don’t Know?
Abby: I think he’s dead.
Lila: I KNEW I loved I Don’t Know.
Lila: I BELIEVE he will come alive again. I always knew that Cameron would come alive again, even though he’s gone. I know I Don’t Know will come alive again too.
Lila: I feel like my heart is crying.
Lila: When I’m a grown up and I put my kids to bed I’ll tell them stories about when I was a kid RIGHT NOW and I’ll tell them about when my fish died and they’ll probably be sad for me.
Lila: I said a prayer to Heavenly Father to help me calm down. When I take a deep breath I let all the sadness out of me.
Abby: You let air out of you too!
Zack: I wish you could just call Jesus and he would come down so we could get resurrected right now.
Zack: (After talking about putting a stone on I Don’t Know’s grave) Then he might be rising up and he might hit the stone. OUCH!!
Zack: Yeah, Jesus will move our stone. (when we are resurrected).
Zack: They will write on the stone who it is so we should write "I Don’t Know" on the stone and then they might think we don’t know who is there.
Abby: So we should write “Fishes Grave”.
Lila: Even though we don’t know where Heaven is and where Jesus is, we have faith that Jesus is real!
Lila: I bet now that he is in heaven he feels better because he is happy and he doesn’t hurt anymore.
Lila: I know that if I die I will be happy because I will be with everyone I love.
We had a great talk about the resurrection. (To be honest, I am not sure that fish qualify for resurrected status but still…) As we talked, I was so touched by their simple faith in the plan of salvation and in the resurrection. Lila has dealt with death more than most little kids and I love that she has such a testimony of heaven. Her simple faith is inspiring to me. For her sake, I hope that there ARE fish in heaven!
We will miss you I Don't Know!
9 comments:
That was such a sweet post. I love the Primary organization and fine parents like you two who have the answers about death so the little ones develop sweet testimonies at such a young age. We have had many pet funerals over the years. My favorite is Blake's pet rats, Lighting and Thunder...they got a rock head stone.
Um, I'm going back and forth between laughing and crying. how much do I LOVE that your fish's name was "I don't know" ?? hilarious.
we had a really hard time when our fish died. so much that I can't bear to get another pet. (like 2 years later).
In conclusion, I feel like my heart is crying... while simultaneously laughing really hard. :)
So sweet...and funny.
oh my word--i'm so glad you wrote that all down! those are priceless quotes. And they show just how well you're teaching your kids! Lila is adorable. I seriously want to come steal her away from you for a couple months!! Oh, how i wish we lived closer....
I love that! They are so cute. I felt like a fly on the wall listening to their conversation. :) Thanks for sharing that sweet conversation with us. I CANNOT believe you have that fish. I remember seeing that fish in your house in Boston. WOW!
so sweet...and funny. I love that Cameron is still mentioned in these conversations. I miss you guys like crazy! Are you coming to Utah anytime soon?
Hi Em!
I was going through your post and I found it really sweet.. Lila is commendable. I'm amazed by her thoughts on 'Heaven' and 'Ressurection' at the age of 6..!!!And the credit surely goes to the Parents... :):)
Lila really does understand! And she understood back when Cameron passed away. I'm with Katie. Crying and laughing. I love you!
This is one of the sweetest things I have ever read.
We have a Beta fish -- it is a year old. Don't hate me, but I can't wait for it to die.
Perhaps when he finally does pass over to the other side I will miss him.
I'll let you know!
(I was just wondering how you moved "I Don't Know" from Boston to CT. Sounds like serious work to me. We can barely get ours to the neighbor's house when we have someone "fish sit" when we go out of town -- am impressed.)
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